By Elyse Allen M.F.T.
Important Note: The information contained in this article is not intended to take the place of medical diagnosis and/or medical treatment. The experience and ideas described in this article is simply offered as a way of getting in touch with your thoughts and emotions that could be underlying physical discomfort. It is not meant to take the place of medical consultation. See your doctor if you are experiencing physical discomfort.
My Story
I'll never forget it. In June of 2001, my left foot began to hurt. It was a dull throb along the bottom of my foot that would become worse in the days and weeks to come and did not respond to foot baths, massage, acupuncture or alternative treatments. My foot hurt like the dickens and I had no idea why.
I made an appointment with my doctor who diagnosed the problem as Plantas-fasciitis or as it is more commonly known flat feet. The doctor demonstrated some foot exercises to me which gave me only very temporary relief and I was referred to a podiatrist--a doctor who specializes in disorders of the foot.
The podiatrist recommended local injections. I agreed to the injections which caused my entire foot to swell and become even more painful. He also recommended special shoes which were very expensive and not covered by my insurance. I had to cover the cost of the shoes out of my own pocket. I was suffering. It was all I could do to keep it together during the week, go to work and hobble home to put my foot up on a pile of pillows. This gave me only some semblance of relief. Weekends were spent in this position, foot throbbing and my mind enshrouded in the pain and the depression of it all.
I decided to confide in a friend who is a spiritual counselor and very insightful woman. I hobbled into her tiny office, sat down and shared with her the story of my painful ordeal. She listened patiently and with interest. When I had finished she asked me if I was open to taking some time to meditate and consider a few things. I readily agreed eager for any help that might bring some relief. She asked me to mindfully consider this question--
What is the problem that this pain or dis-ease is solving for you?
I couldn't believe my ears! What did she just say? What is the problem that this awful pain is solving for me? And just what in the hell did she mean by dis-ease? My friend read the bewildered expression on my face. She assured me that it always seems like a weird question at first but she encouraged me to keep an open mind. I promised that I would go home and give it some thought and that's what I did.
Once at home, I got as comfortable as I could and began to take some deep breaths. I just tried to relax and allow my breath to further relax me and allow myself to unwind and let go. Then I gently posed that weird but intriguing question to myself--what is the problem that this dis-ease is solving for me? Then, I simply sat there and breathed. I'm not exactly sure how much time passed but it wasn't all that long before I got an inkling of an idea. It became clearer to me. This dis-ease or pain in my foot was slowing me down. At that time, I was a total work-a-holic. There's no other way to describe it. I rarely took time off and burned my proverbial candle at both ends. This foot problem had forced me to slow down and take it easy. It was solving the problem of being too busy and not taking time to take care of myself. Now, I was really curious. What else was my foot problem and the accompanying dis-ease attempting to solve for me?
The next thing that dawned on me was that this awful pain was, in my mind, an acceptable reason to cry. I realized that I often cried at times during those weekends when my foot throbbed and I was stuck with my foot propped up on my pile of pillows. I pride myself in that I am an emotionally strong person and I come from a culture that tends to frown on gratuitous crying as a sign of weakness. I thought about it and I also realized that I had never actually cried over profound events in my life such as losing my eyesight. Another problem this dis-ease was solving for me was the problem of pent up emotions that needed expression. I needed to give myself permission to cry and release those unexpressed emotions.
One more insight occurred to me. My foot pain had the effect of creating a lot of attention and hub-bub around me. People were very helpful and attentive. Family, friends and clients fussed over me and showed me lots of love during this time when I was in obvious pain and having difficulty moving about. The third problem that this dis-ease was solving for me was the need for love. I was amazed but also relieved that, in a short period of time, I was able to identify three specific problems that my pain was attempting to solve for me.
The Next Step
My spiritual counselor friend had explained that once I identified the problems the dis-ease was attempting to solve, the next step is to acknowledge the attempt but then consciously decide to set it aside and take responsibility for solving the problems in a healthier and more harmonious way.
It might sound corny but I thanked myself for attempting to help me solve these problems. I said “I will now take responsibility for solving these problems in a way that doesn't require me or anyone else to suffer. I'll takeover now.”
The Final Step
My friend had explained that the third and final step is to decide upon several simple steps that I might choose to take to directly address the identified problems. My list looked something like this:
Problem #1 I’m too busy
Solution(s) Adjust my schedule
Schedule more down time
Utilize my vacation time
Problem #2 I need to allow myself to release pent up emotions
Solution(s) Adopt a new core belief that "It's okay to cry"
Use alternative treatments (e.g. Reiki, massage) to release "frozen” emotions
Problem #3 I want to experience more love
Solution(s) Ask for what I need (love, hugs, attention)
Set my intention to be open to giving and receiving more love
Acknowledge and value the love that already abundantly surrounds me
Over the next couple of weeks, I reviewed my insights and list of positive activities. I didn't just mull over my list every once in a while. I put that list into positive action and I began to experience immediate positive results. Over the next few weeks I was aware that my foot ached less and less. It became easier to walk and I no longer needed to wear my special shoes. The pain kept decreasing until, one day, my foot didn't hurt any more! I'm please to report that my foot remains pain-free to this very day. The whole ordeal was very unpleasant but paved the way to an important lesson and opening of my self-awareness that I am most grateful for.
The 3 Steps:
Elyse Allen LMFT is a psychotherapist and motivational speaker. Elyse helps people of every walk of life activate their inner ability to manifest a positive and happy life by tapping into their courage to create.
5777 Madison Ave. Ste. #1110
Sacramento, CA 95841
Telephone: (916) 349-8783
Fax: (916) 349-8788